The Ideal Wife

Dazzled by the luxurious red and gold choodiyans that produced such musical, euphonious sound when tapped together, the ghungroos gently placed on her feet right under her neatly draped red sari, the bold black kajol that brought out the serenity in her eyes and such plump red lips sealed with a smile, she was happy. She daydreamed of Hema Maliniand Jaya Bachan’s happily married scenes in Indian movies, as she herself eagerly awaited her dulaha. Adorned with such maturity on the outside though was the youthfulness of a 14-year-old. This was the correct way to send off a larki in an Indian household, right? Then what wrong did this little girl do to have to be going away at 14? That is what was traditionally taught to her. Her Ma, Chaachee, Dadi Ma, all of them were sent away in their youth. They all appeared happy.Little did she recognise her mother’s yearning for happiness and she did not understand that marriage was just a transaction. Her dulaha arrived late, dressed in a dirty, off-white kurta and possessed a drunk odor. It made her mother flashback to her own wedding, as she knew then that her daughter’s life was destined to be doomed, but what say did she have? Along with no independence, she didn’t have a voice. She watched her gudiya go away that day with a smile and hoped that she followed the values she instilled into her.

A little shy and eager, her palms inside each other, placed on top her trembling knees, she kept looking out the window of the white Peugeot gaadee until they arrived. As soon as she entered the house she began to recall her mother’s teachings:

1) Beytee, make sure and cook every night for your pati when he returns from work.

2) Beytee, remember don’t ever talk back.

3) Beytee, always make sure the house is tidy and wear proper clothes all times.

Proper clothes? But as soon as she set down her belongings he stripped her of her purity. Where in her mother teachings was she taught to be submissive, to be overruled? She didn’t sleep and was choked with unanswered questions. That night she bid farewell to her smile. She was determined, however, and was not going to let one bad night ruin her relationship. So, the very next afternoon, like all married women she knew, she cooked dinner on the chulha, roasted tomatoes and baigan choka with hot sada roti. Again he arrived late and drunk. He began to eat and told her she could eat as well but she had already eaten before he came. This enraged him and he flung his full plate of food at her, shouting, “You wuking? You getting money to pay bills? Then who is you to eat before me?” She was battered terribly that night. Again she wondered, “Ma never told me it was customary to eat after your husband has eaten.” She realised her life was not going to be another Amitabh and Jaya Bachan love story. This continued, the beatings, arguments, sexual assaults, everything contradictory to what was taught to her: satyam, soucham, daaya, dhan, parivaar. Most times she sat in front the mirror and questioned, “What good were these values of a wife, to cook,clean, dress properly, if I am not able to express who I am, to be equal to my husband?” These questions pierced through her body like an arrow directed to her soul.

I remember it like it was just yesterday, the last time I smiled, leaving Ma’s home. Ma with a four-year-old: Haanladakee?? Aapako Kyachaahie Jaya? I myself, just like Ma, adapted to this lifestyle four years now. I still thought how things could have been so much better for me. I could have been educated. I was a fast learner. I learned to count to 5 in 5 days: ek do teen cha panj. I could have become a doctor, lawyer, oh how I loved to dance, I could have, I could have, I could have, all in the past. How was I to know this would be my fate? The only thing I learnt from birth were the values of being a wife to someone that didn’t even value me or my abilities. I’ve learnt to adjust but I will not be like my mother and raise my daughters to believe that marriage at a young age is a bed of roses. They will be independent and educated and instilled with enriching values.

Child marriage is an ongoing customary tradition that is still taking place in today’s society. Should our young girls just limit themselves to be enslaved in a patriarchal household? They should be seen as equal, with high standards,educated, independent, well mannered and religious.  These are the values that should have been instilled in our young girls, not cook, clean and oblige your husband in whatever he says. My story is a sad one but my daughters’ will be better. Jai Swaha Mata Ki Jai!!!

By Angelica Lazarus

Swaha Hindu College

Swadeshi 2018: Over 17 Category (Storytelling)