Many parents encounter the greatest challenge in raising children at the adolescent stage. This is because the adolescent individual is now undergoing physical (puberty), emotional and social changes all at the same time. These changes can be traumatic for the teenager who does not quite understand what’s happening to him or her. With regards to the emotional or mental changes, the brain, that part which processes thoughts now changes to allow one to become more logical and in a better position to think clearly. With regard to the social changes, a teenager’s friends become increasingly important and so acceptance by peers occupy centre stage in our children’s lives. Having said that, parents must ensure two things happen with their Hindu children in this adolescent stage of life.
Firstly, to successfully deal with the social changes, the friends of our teenage children must accept and tolerate them for being Hindus. The easiest way for this to happen is to make sure our children have a good supply of Hindu peers. Sometimes two or three genuine ones are good enough. The extended family relationships and contacts on a frequent and continued basis also help. Thus, if only for the sake of our children, we should maintain good relationships with our close relatives. The powerful institution called temple provides varied and wonderful opportunities for healthy peer interaction and sense of identity, through its many religious, social and cultural activities. Also, enrolling our children in hobbies like dance, music and singing provides additional opportunity for peer bonding. Not to mention the additional benefit of cultural identity.
Many of our children, because of the schools they attend, parents’ jobs and family’s place of residence, do not experience much Hindu interaction. In these cases, parents can encourage children to invite their friends at home for Hindu functions, events and celebrations. And I don’t mean only for the food! This can be a way for our adolescent children to establish their Hindu self and to let their friends know this is who I am and how I live. Experience has shown that this kind of interaction fosters tolerance and acceptance. Non- Hindu teenagers are even now conforming by attending Hindu functions.
In most countries, foreign embassies celebrate their cultural occasions by inviting all other ambassadors/embassies. This is how nations learn to appreciate and tolerate differences. This is how a civilised society lives. It is a shame that there is a bit of a stigma attached to being Hindu in certain cultural spheres in T&T. Hindu adults past and present have ourselves to blame for that. How is it that many non –Hindu teenagers never waver from their religious indoctrination in spite of their adolescence challenges as many Hindu teenagers do? Do you know why Hindus accept or tolerate other religions so easily? Perhaps it is because of the pride which others exhibit for their beliefs. We parents need to instil this Hindu pride in our children by nurturing good Hindu self-esteem in them.
Mrs. Mala Persad
